Where you start can depend on where you are. If you are just becoming aware of the concepts of being present, open and receiving, start with something small, something really easy, something where you can't possibly fair. Where can you find this? Read on…
Close your eyes place one hand on your heart. Take a few minutes to feel your heart beating and focus on it. It is likely the same heart that was beating even before you were born. It is the same heart that will beat for the rest of your life. What an amazing gift this life giving heart of yours that you are feeling in this moment.
If you find that images appear your mind, place them on a fluffy clouds and use your other hand to gently just push them aside. If you get easily distracted by thoughts or music in your mind, focus on feeling your heart beat and counting each time it beats.
Breath in deeply through your nose, as if it was coming in from the centre top of your head. Feel the air flow down your throat and down as it fills the deepest part of your belly. Feel the life giving and positive energy carrying oxigen flow throughout your body right down into the tips of your fingers and of your toes. Feel your heart beating. As you begin to exhale through your mouth, feel all the waste and garbage, stress and other negative enery flow out of your body. Give thanks to the beating of your heart, to God, the universe or whatever you believe created you and/or gives you life. Continue to breath.
Think back to a time when you experience being presence, being open and being able to receive. Although it can be, it need not be a situation you felt all three at the same time, especially at first. The idea is to build on success and what better place to do that than a place where you can't possibly fail -- the one place where you have already succeeded. It can be something that recently happened or something that happened a long time ago. Explore this experience by encouraging them to describe the situation. Ask them questions like:
- How did it happen?
- What did you see?
- What did you smell?
- How did you feel emotionally?
- Was there any physical contact involved?
- Where in your body did you feel?
- Why were you allowing yourself to be open to feeling that way? Was it a conscious decision or did you just naturally feel? If it was a conscious choice, what did you have to do in order to be open to those feelings?
- Who else was there?
- Who contributed to that situation happening?
- How were they involved in the situation?
- How did they feel about giving or receiving in that moment?
- Why is that moment special and meaningful to you?
- How were you open to giving or receiving?
Now have them extend their other hand and take hold of that vision and pull it along with their feelings into their heart.
Repeat this several times exploring different situations from their past where they were open, they received, or they noticed something meaningful in to how they or someone else felt which resulted in a positive experience, each time bringing it into their heart after exploring the moment. As they repeat this exercise in future, encourage them to find situations where they experience more than one of these at the same time: Being present, being open and giving and receiving. Noticed I slipped the word "giving" in there? Why do you suppose I did that?
The next step is to build on their success by creating a vision of their future. Invite them to step into your time bubble and travel with them 5, 10, 15 and finally 20 years into their future or wherever seems appropriate. It needs to be far enough into the future so that their past and their present is so insignificant that it is no longer relevant. This is a time where anything can be, a time where you are not tethered to your past. Take the time to help them disperse the mist and create a clear vision. Since we are using a time bubble, magic has now become science and the impossible is now possible. Ask your coachee to explorer:
- Where are you?
- Look around, what do you see?
- What you hear?
As you turn around, you notice that there is a bunch of people there, looking at you. They all seem to be genuinely thrilled to see you as you walk towards them. You start to recongize them.
- Who is there?
- Why are they there?
With love in their eyes and genuine smiles on their face, they start to applaud. You open yourself heart to receiving this appreciation. The crowd suddenly parts right and left. Tears of joy fill your eyes as overwhelming warmth fills your heart.
- Who (one or more people) do you see standing there right in front of you?
- Describe what are you feeling?
- Why is this person/are these people so important to you?
It's almost time to go back. Before we do…
- How did you have to open yourself to being able to feel such love?
- What must you have given unconditionally in order to be worthy of such gratitude and attention?
- Did you do this all on your own or did you need to be open to receiving from others?
- Who are you right now in your future?
It's time to hop back into the time bubble. As you travel back to together, ask your client to look around outside the bubble at their life moving backwards. Success leaves clues.
- Who must they have been in order for all this to happen?
- What must they believed about being present for themselves and for others?
- In order to connect at such a deep level with so many friends, colleagues, family and even strangers, was it necessary for them to open? If so, how?
- How must they feel about giving and receiving in order to make this future be their reality?
If they were that way today, would it really take 20 years to turn this dream life into their reality?
Back in the present, realize that these people of the past and that person of the future actually are the real you today and right now, not the you that you have been pretending to be. There has been nothing enlighted about shriking so that other’s wouldn’t feel insecure around you. In fact, it is this pretending that has actually been causing you to feel insecure.
Each of us has the ability to be present because nobody really wants to feel alone. We each have the ability to be open because everyone wants to feel loved at the deepest level. We have the ability to contribute and receive because we depend on each other survive at so many levels. Shrinking by pretending and denying who we really are does not serve the world or us. Open your heart and shine as you were meant to since the day you were born. As you open your mind, you create opportunities for yourself and for others. As you liberate yourself from your fears, your very presence automatically inspires and liberates others to do the same. This is who you are today.
Who are you today, right now? You are more than just the sum of your past for you are already the person you are about to become. Although you see things from your hearts perspective, you consciously choose to see others though a perspective of heartfelt understanding. It is part of this perspective which enables you to understand that others may not also have this awareness when interacting with you and that’s ok. Feel your inner strength and think about how you can share this with others to give them the courage they need. Feel the person you have been in the past. Feel the person you have already become in the future. Feel person you are NOW for all of these are already a part of who YOU ARE TODAY.
Both of you should now cross your arms and give yourselves a hug. Remain in that position and feel the person who was, feel the person who will be, the person who is. Love the person who had the courage to be open to receive love. Love the person who will have the joy, pride, happiness, faith, courage to receive, grow and contribute to others, not because you have to but because it just feels so good.
The only reason you were able to experience these last few minutes of your past life, future life and present life was because you were open to feeling, opening your mind to receiving this gift, open to being present within yourself, open to just being yourself.
Place both hands back on your chest and focus back on feeling your heart again.
What is your heart telling you about being OPEN? What is your heart telling you about RECEIVING from others? What is your heart telling you about being PRESENT?
Seeing yourself through your heart:
- Who do you believe yourself to be?
- Who are you to others? What can you share with others?
- Will you allow others share with you and allow yourself to be filled with feelings of gratitude? If so say YES!
- What will you allow them to give and do for you that will allow you to create the future you really want, a future where you give and love freely without expecting anything in return, a future where you are open to receiving without feeling obligated to give anything back because you know that it was given to you out of love and not in trade?
- What can you offer others from your heart?
- What can you offer others from your heart, not just sometimes but all the time even when they are not around?
- Do you have the ability and willingness to notice that the more you give, the more you receive and that these two are not a transaction because the person you give to is not always the same person who will give back and that’s ok because you understand there are those who need and those who have to give?
When you begin to experience selfish feelings of guilt as you open yourself to receiving, think about where the other person is coming from. Put yourself in their shoes and realize that they are coming from a place of love, growth and contribution. When you are not sure what to do, simply express of heartfelt gratitude and appreciation is a great antidote to guilt. Look for opportunities and practice saying “Thank you”. Often, that’s all it takes to overcome a fear of receiving.
The more you practice this, the easier it will get. The more you do it, the more you will want to do it and the more you will return to who you are at your core.