What’s the secret to feeling confident? Self-Confidence is all in the back of your eyes. While it is true that confidence is in your mind (behind your eyes, get it?), if you pay attention, you can actually feel self-confidence in your eyes. Try the following exercise to experience this for yourself:
Exercise: Daily Emotional Flooding
(Rinse and repeat this each day for 30 days)
Dress up in your favourite clothes, you know the ones that make you feel you look amazing. This could be your Sunday best or your most sexy outfit. It should make you feel good about yourself, not sleazy. Don’t worry, you have permission. Nobody is around. Nobody will see you feeling good about yourself. If you want, it will just be our secret.
Next stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself for 10-20 minutes. As you do this, look deep into your eyes and feel the self-confidence that is hidden underneath the cold exterior you have created to protect yourself. Playing small does not serve the world, or you. If you are still having trouble finding this self-confidence, make the silliest face you can. Then, always looking into the mirror, create another one, and another until you get yourself out of your head and into your feelings. Once again, look into your eyes and see how real you are, feel what a great gift you have to offer clients, realize that you have the power to affect their world in a positive way. You the man / woman. You have the power to not only affect the lives of strangers but your life in a positive way. Next pretend that are a super hero. Are you James bond? Wonder Woman? Superman? Feel the power that is within you. It might be buried but pretending is a great liberator. You can be a wise sage or a ruler like a king feeling the power of leadership and the great responsibility that goes along with such great power. Perhaps you are a warrior who realizes that a warrior goes into battle not to win, but with the goal of finding peace so that he can protect those whom he loves. Warriors are actually great lovers because they do everything for love. Love of their country, their community, their business and their family. Like the wise sage, the warrior knows that the person on the other side has a community, a business and a family to take care of. The warrior knows that to win, he must trust that others have similar noble interests and values and that by working in collaboration and trust, they can build empires. As you look deep into your eyes, see and feel the smile that comes over you as you realize that you feel good about who you are as an individual, and what you have to offer others in your business. Breathe deeply and feel your heart. Envision something that happen to you in the past, something positive, something exciting, something that just happen because you happen to be in the right place at the right time. It could have been something you said, someone you inspired, a situation where you may have even surprised yourself. Now go back and think of another time in your life where something magical happened. Perhaps you are a wizard, someone who can conjure up anything? At the flick of a wrist, a twitch of your face, anything that has been holding you back can vanish. You are no longer a slave to your past and have the power to create the future you really want. Life without limits. You believe you can create the future you really want, have the love that you really want, be around people who really want to see you succeed. Feel what it might be like to have the courage of a warrior, the knowledge of the wise sage, the leadership of a king AND the freedom and permission to make anything happen. All this and so much more is bottled up in back of your eyes. As you feel all this come into your eyes, notice how you are standing, how you are breathing. You may even have different positions depending on which parts of you that you draw from. Feel confidence in the way you look into your eyes at yourself in a mirror. Is there a little smile that comes with it? Notice your physiology. Are you standing tall? Are you breathing deep? Is your head up? Are your shoulders back? Say “YES!” out loud. Say it again louder. Say it again with more power. Create a power move that you’ll make to activate all your super powers like hitting your chest, pulling back your two fists as you say “YES!”, it can even be settle like clenching your fist but a power move is more effective. Repeat your power move and say YES! together 20-50 times. Feel your heart beating. Your body knows this is exciting. Your mind is focused on success. Your eyes recognize your confidence as you look at yourself in the mirror. Say YES! Now envision yourself in the future. You’ve just come from a meeting with a potential client and blown their socks off with your heart felt approach. They felt heard. They felt you really understood them and their business. You didn’t even have to sell them. They just wanted your services. See as they shake your hand with a big smile and thank you for taking the time to meet with them. Take a moment to let it all soak in. How does it feel? Later that night you arrive home feeling like you are on top of the world. You can’t wait to share it with someone who will really appreciate what this means to you. Each day you meet more clients like this, people who so appreciate what you can do for them, people who can’t wait to tell everyone they know about this wonderful person they meet. Referrals start coming in, you deliver amazing services and make people feel great about paying you in the process. Your business starts to really take off. Although you still love going out to meet people, people are now seeking you out. You have a full time service business is going through the roof and is more successful than anything you could have dreamed it might be… and they all want you. Although the money is important to you, it is no longer a major concern to you because you know that the more you offer others, the more that will come to you. It won’t always come back from the same person you gave to, but you now have faith and have experienced that it always does. As your wealth accumulates over the years, you start to realize that you have the resources to grow and contribute the way you have always dreamed. Now only that, but you now have the skills and knowledge to help others in a more profound and meaningful way. That’s when it hits you. You realize that this truth has always been inside you, this richness, this love, this desire and ability to be and do anything you want, it’s always been here, it is there right now, in your eyes, right now as you look into the mirror and realize that you are the person you have always wanted to be, that you are the person that is the sum of all your experiences, knowledge and people around you and that you could not be anyone else here and now. You are also this amazing person who can create the future you want and be the person you truly want to be, the person you will be and the person you already are. You are no longer the victim of your past but the hero of your future. Go back to the future and see yourself arriving home. Everyone you have touched in a meaningful way has come out to see you. As you walk closer they begin to applaud, not because they have to like some preprogrammed audience but because they feel so much appreciation for everything that you’ve done for them, everything you have given. Who do you see there? What does your home look like? How are you dressed? How do you feel? Now come back and look deep into your eyes and see that person, realize that this person is the same person you are today. Feel the self-confidence in your eyes as you look at yourself in the mirror. Feel the love you have for yourself. This isn’t a vain love but a genuine love for yourself and for everyone and everything around you. It’s a love that will help you find amazing opportunities for gratitude, and opportunities to take care of those you love. Close your eyes and give yourself a warm hug and let that feeling soak into your whole being. This is heartfelt love and understanding for heartfelt love, understanding, gratitude and forgiveness begins with yourself. Say YES!
Did you like how that felt? Want to do it more than once a day? Hmm. Ok, but with great power comes great responsibility. Possible side effects of feeling good about yourself could include: Feelings of self-confidence all the time, knowing that you can inspire those around you, success, money, emotional well-being, health, feelings like it feels good to finally allow you to be yourself, a thriving business, feeling gorgeous, feeling talented, being brilliant and fabulous, inspiring the world and of course, feeling a level of love like you’ve never felt before. Other side effects include feeling enlightened and automatically liberating others to do the same.
Got it? Don’t worry if you didn't get it just yet. Just keep practicing… you’ll figure it out.