What is a good man anyway?

A very common problem when searching for your ideal partner is that most people haven't gone through the process of figuring out what they want. While this is the purpose of dating, most people go on a date, and see how they feel. There is nothing wrong with that approach but if you never learn from the experience when it doesn't work out, you will very likely just keep attracting the same kind of people and making the same kinds of mistakes.

One thing you can do to improve your chances of finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is to take a little time to create a list of what you MUST and MUST NOT have in your ideal partner. This strategy will help you learn what is important to you in your ideal mate.

Spit a page into two columns and title one MUST and the other MUST NOT.

In the MUST column, make a list of all the attributes your ideal partner should have. Be honest with yourself about what is really important to you. Don't worry, nobody is going to see this document but you. Things like values, honesty, likes to travel, likes the outdoors, has a job, intelligence, how they express love to you, etc. Just keep in mind that this is NOT a NICE TO HAVE wish list. It is a list of what attributes this person MUST absolutely have in order to be even be considered suitable.

In the next column, create a list of the things that are show stoppers. Things about a person that you will absolutely not consider. For example, if they can't live without their dog or cat and you have allergies, it is probably not going to work out. Would you put up with someone who is verbally or physically abusive? That's an easy NO WAY and should be included in this list.

When you first create the list, you may not realize what is actually important to you. I've known people who put Must be Rich on their MUST list and eventually realized that someone who is kind, caring and supportive was more important to them.

This list is not carved in stone. It is a living document that you should update whenever you feel the need. Write it up and put it away. Review it from time to time but don't carry it around like a checklist. Your subconscious will do that for you. One day, you will find someone special and realize that they are an amazing match for you were looking for.

So what about all the attributes you hope the person has, but are not necessarily a MUST? Don't worry, we got you covered. On the back of the page, create a NICE TO HAVE list. This is your wish list. It's sole purpose is to give you a place to write down your wishes. It MUST NOT be used to evaluate potential partners. If you feel that anything on this list is a MUST, put it on your MUST list instead.

If more women start to raise their expectations of what they consider a good man, men would have to step up and become better people if they want a good woman. If you are a parent, teach and expect these values to your children. You will be contributing to a better world in a significant way as they go through life being a role model for others.

Best regards,

Michael Milette